I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
