It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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