she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
