She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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