is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
