I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
