He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
home. puking in laundry basket.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
