i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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