If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
