I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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