I need help removing her.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
