We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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