i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
