I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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