Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
