so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Randomize
