Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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