just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
