i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
