i was born a porn star she said
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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