whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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