I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
