Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
