I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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