like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
