I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
