Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
