Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
