u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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