If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Randomize
