I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
