i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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