My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
