no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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