Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
