I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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