I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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