But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
