You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
