I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
