I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
