none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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