sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
