she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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