just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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