he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
