so explain again why im purple
no
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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