You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
