well I can't set my house on fire every night
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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