i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
