Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I wannas sexs uuuuu
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
no, he came in my armpit
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
