i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
